and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
