I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We just shotgunned beers for America
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
