dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize