I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
