we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
