We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
