no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
