i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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