Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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