Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
