If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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