forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
