Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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