I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
