Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

from now on my penis is your penis

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two

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(518): View more from New York

Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.

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(708): View more from Illinois

as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.

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(516): View more from New York

I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me

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(616): View more from Michigan

Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana

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(316): View more from Kansas

Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?

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