If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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