At least make sure they are 18
Why
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You left your phone here
Wait...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
