considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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