you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
