just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
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I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
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You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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