Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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