I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
