like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
