Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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