I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
