Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
