I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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