My room smells like vodka and shame
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
