so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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