he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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