I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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