i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
