Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
