i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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