i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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