sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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