So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
