u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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