i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
