we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
