i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
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She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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