i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
