bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
