whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
