And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
