Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's just like the Real World with babies
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
