"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
