just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize