Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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