I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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