So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
