so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
