I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
