So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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