I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
