I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
