yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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