Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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