Cold hands, warm shart.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
