you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
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My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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